Dumb Criminal Tries to Rob Store Bare Handed

If you’re going to rob a gas station, you at least have to bring a weapon.  John Newall was nearing the end of a four-day amphetamine binge when he tried to rob a gas station, by just demanding the money.  The clerk told him, “You need a weapon.  I have to fear for my life.  You can’t just have the money.” John then waited til the register was opened for a paying customer, grabbed some money, and ran out.  He used it to go play poker at a nearby casino and was arrested. Taken from KCMQ.com.

Daily Dumbass: Drunk Driver Stops To Ask Cop For Directions

Today’s Daily Dumbass’s horrible antics earns her both the Daily Dumbass title and a Darwin Award. This Daily Dumbass comes to us from Birmingham Alabama. Freep.com reported, “Dena Ellington, 45, of Birmingham stopped her Land Rover in the parking lot of Taft Education Center at 8:40 a.m. Tuesday to ask for directions to Coolidge Intermediate School, according to Ferndale Police” (Police: Mom drove drunk to son’s school, 2009).

It is not unusual to ask police for directions, unless you are drunk. When this dumb criminal asked for directions, the police officer smelled alcohol on her breath. The police officer gave our dumb criminal a breathalyzer test. Dumbass Daily reported, “A .29% BAC . . . first thing in the morning and she’s still able to move?” (Drunk Mom Arrested While Driving Kid to School, Stopped to Ask Cop for Directions, 2009). Our Daily Dumbass had a very high blood alcohol level.

This drunk driving dumb criminal is now facing multiple charges. She is being charged with drunk driving with someone 16 in the car. If the dumb criminal is convicted, this will add an additional 6 months to her sentence. This is not the only charges being faced by our dumb criminal. The Oakland Sheriff’s Office is also wanting her for failing to appear on a civil infraction.

Hopefully, this dumb criminal learn that you should not drive drunk, with your sone in the car, early in the morning. There is not too much to say about this women. Stupid runs deep and this dumb criminal is queen of stupid. Enjoy your title as one of the World’s Dumbest Criminals and your Darwin Award.

Daily Dumbass: Crooks Steal Fake Cell Phones

Cell phones have become a mainstay around the world. Cellular technology has moved way past being just a “phone”. They have become personal computers that can check your email, track your calendar, contacts, and many other functions. Today’s daily dumbass is way behind the times. They could not even tell the difference between a real or fake cell phone. Continue reading »

Power Tools and Sex Toys Do Not Mix

Many women enjoy “battery operated boyfriends”. They allow them to hit just the right spot and are always abailble without talking back. Recently, a husband decided to give his wife a gift. He thought of a way to bring more power to her “private” sessions. His gift would earn him today’s Darwin Award.

The gentleman decided his wife’s dildo would have more power, attached to a saw. He inserted a saber saw blade into his wife’s dildo. He then proceeded to service her wit it. Views from a Broad reported, “Maryland State Police airlifted the 27-year-old woman to Prince George’s County Hospital Center early Sunday morning after she was injured in an incident involving a sex toy attached to a saber saw blade, TheBayNet.com reported” (Woman Injured in Power Tool Sex Toy Encounter! Sticks a Dildo on a power saw!, 2009). Continue reading »

What Would the Top Slot on Google be Worth to You?

I was wondering whether you had realized just how much article submission software has improved over recent years? For instance, this article has been written and submitted to thousands of directories, lists and blogs on auto-pilot over a period of a month by the world’s best article management software.

Please don’t miss out on this, it is that important if you want to promote any site on the Internet.

Simply put, there is simply no other traffic generation system that works better, costs less, and is completely immune to search engine changes.

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Robbing a Bank? Fill Up The Tank!

If you’re planning on robbing a bank, today’s dumbasses show us you should make sure to check your gas tank first.  Two guys named Jason and Randall in Daytona Beach were arrested after their getaway car ran out of gas while they were driving away from the bank they had just robbed – they only got 2 blocks away before they had to take off on foot.  Police then traced the abandoned vehicle’s plates back to Jason’s house, and the duo were quickly arrested. From KCMQ.com.

Hearse Driver Stops for Beers on the Way to The Cementary

Everyday someone around the world is late for a funeral. They may have gotten stuck in traffic, had trouble getting dressed, waiting for their spouse/significant other, or maybe they are just always late. Personally, I can relate to the latter. I spend a large amount of time rushing to make appointments on time. Today’s Daily Dumbass story includes a corpse that was late to his own funeral. The reason this person was late to his own funeral will surprise and shock you.

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Ice Cream Owner Conviced that $20 Coin is Real

The federal government has been making changes to our monetary system. These changes have included making pictures larger, using different ink, changing the color ink, even offering $1 coins. For some, it may be difficult to keep up. If you are a store owner then it is even more important to keep up with the changes. Today’s Darwin Award goes to an ice cream store owner that did not know there is no such thing as a $20 coin.

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Teenager Playing Hookie Rear Ends Police Car While Texting

Students skip class everyday, especially seniors. Once senioritis sets in, it is hard to keep your mind on books and studies. Skipping school for a day seems to look better and better. Today’s daily dumbass had a severe case of senioritis and decided to skip school. What she would do while skipping would earn her the title of daily dumbass.

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If Money Was No Object…What Furniture Would You Have?

I am veering away from our normal dumb criminal stories. Do not worry, it is only for one post. My wife and I have been looking at new homes. Not only is our apartment too small but our furniture is also outdated. My wife asked me a question, “If money was no object, what furniture would you have?” It is a very interesting quetion. Many pay little attention to their furniture, however, choosing furniture can be very important. Furniture not only mirrors our style but makes our homes more comfortable. What questions should be considered when choosing furniture?

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